Being a self-care goddess isn’t so easy. Most of us are crazy busy with motherhood, balancing stressful jobs and households, juggling family commitments and keeping the flames of our marriage or relationships sizzling to make much time for ourselves. That coveted "me time" is usually last on the daily to do list. Worse, when we do make time to do something just for ourselves, we can feel guilty and like its selfish.
As a mother to 5 kids aged 8-17 years old, I am here to tell you self-care is NEVER selfish. In fact, its the secret to a healthier, happier you. Without time to catch your breath and recharge your goddess batteries, you'll just be a frazzled, grumpy mombie. You and your family deserve better. Your need matter just as much (sometimes) more than your family's.
I'm sure you have been on a plane and been told to mask yourself FIRST in the case of an emergency. Why is that? Well, what good are you to your young kids or dependents if you're passed out from lack of oxygen. It is standard protocol on all flights, that you mask up first, then turn and help others. You need to ensure you are ok before you can be of any help or serve to others. It's a life rule many of us as women, overlook and that is to our detriment!
Here’s what I know for certain, self-care is your lifeline. Always. No compromise. It’s the secret to a happy, magical, blissful Life. Without it, it’s like mad-paddling for a life-preserver that just isn't there. So stop struggling. There is another way. A better way.
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Secrets To Starting A Self-Care Routine
So, if you have never practiced self-care, where do you begin? Well, this blog and post is a running start. Fortunately, there are countless ways you can start to engage in your own self-care. Read this (and my other self-care posts).
Be brave and try a few things, they don't have to cost anything or much. You may also want to begin exploring acts of self-care that have meaning to you by Googling and read about self-care strategies. You can join self-care programs, or you can engage with a wellness coach or therapist who can help support your progress. No matter which approach you choose, the goal is to figure out which self-care strategies work best for you, learn how to use these strategies, and start to implement them into your daily routine. The goal post is to make self-care part of your new normal and every day agenda!
Self-Care Isn’t a One Off
The golden rule of self-care is that is not a one off or one time deal. Self-care is the daily habit of nurturing yourself in all areas of your life from mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually. It is about prioritising your own needs as much as you do with your children and loved ones.
To help those who are beginners, or just want additional inspiration, I've complied a list of low cost or free ways to practice self-care and dramatically improve your overall wellness. I highly suggest you pick 1-2 from each category and start with those only. Once you have successfully made these part of your daily routine, add in 2-3 more. Taste success before you move on.
Warning: If you find you keep coming back to try something new without mastering the first set of practices, realise that is an avoidance tactic. Sit with the frustration and really ask yourself why this is so hard for you. What are you beliefs around putting your own needs you first? Is it thought of as selfish, insensitive or rude? Do your needs really not matter? Are these even your beliefs or someone else's?
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Self-Care Habits for Your Mental Wellness
Here we go, my top four ways you can totally boost your mental wellness this week. Try one to two at a time until you have mastered all four and they have become part of your new self-loving normal.
Start A Compliments Jar
I love this as much for the kids as much as I do for my client's or myself. Grab an old mason jar, and every time someone compliments you on something about you, write it down and pop it in the jar.
Documenting all the kind and wonderful things people DO say about you is a sweet way to boost your self-esteem. Read them whenever you feel down or blue. If you're about to tell me that you rarely get any compliments, start by giving some to others. Express kindness to random strangers on the street, the elderly or those in your social circle you don't know very well. Be the positive change you want more of in your own life!
Change Things Up
Its funny how taking a new route to school pick up, work or your usual, can stimulate new neurological pathways in the brain. This is so healthy and urges your brain and mind to look at situations and the mundane is fresh new ways. How can you mix things up and bring a little newness to your every day routines? Can you walk or bike, instead of drive? Can you take the long way or scenic route instead of the motorway? Think about how you can impalement this simple strategy.
Listen To The Nagging Voice
What has been keeping you up at night? The overdue bills, the little odd jobs around the house you've procrastinated over, or that friend you meant to ring back but its now been days, maybe weeks. Declutter your head and write out all the little niggling things you need to get done. Allow a cleansing of your mental power and mind dump all these things onto paper or your device--just free yourself of the nag! Sew that button a back on, fix that light bulb that’s blown, ring your friend and get on top of those bills. It'll feel so good to be on top off all these little things. Gift yourself peace of mind!
I Dare You To Be Selfish, Girl!
Go on, dare accepted. Do one thing today simply because it makes you happy. It might be asking for time by yourself away from the stress of the kids for awhile, making it to the gym while bubba naps in the creche, or just having bubbly in the bath after the kids are in bed tonight. Whatever you choose, just take it. Everyone in the household takes from you, its your long overdue time to take back for all the giving you do. Its not selfish, its fair. So have that girl's night, bubble bath, sleep-in or time just for you!
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Self-Care Ideas For Body Love
Our physical body is our "vessel' in this Life. We only have one and must take care of it. I've rounded up 3 simple ways you can totally show love to your physical body this week. You don't need a gym membership or to be super fit, just get active and practice these habits. As with your mental wellness, don't take on too many changes all at once. Try one at a time until you have mastered all three and they have become part of your new self-loving normal.
Breathe, Girl!
Oxygen is our Life force (in tandem with drinking enough water). Without it, we would perish. But have you ever noticed how poorly you breathe or hold back? This is so common, especially when you live a stressful life. We can literally be holding our breath!
Let's breathe in more energy. Start now by taking three slow, deep breaths. Breathe into your abdomen, feel it raise, and then, slowly let the air flow from your stomach and chest. Its helpful to put your hand on your tummy to feel this happening. Close your eyes and do this for several breaths. It is so simple to practice deep breathing, but very impactful. I use it with my autistic son, and it really helps him centre and regain control of his runaway emotions or anxiety.
Dance Like Nobody Is Watching
You don't have to have the moves of Mc Jagger or J-Lo to practice this one. Just put on your absolute favourite songs or album and shake that booty! The freedom of dance is so liberating. Allow the music to whisk you away, grab the kids and make it a fun family moment. You can easily burn 300-800 calories per hour just dancing.
My kids love watching @FitnessMarshall on YouTube. He's spunky young fella that teaches dances to all the latest trending songs. If you want a free workout, this is it! The key takeaway here is to have fun with it, let loose and fully experience the moment.
Hydrate & Glow From The Inside Out
On average, adults need 2.5-3 litres of water each and every day for optimum health. Plain old water is an essential part of a healthy, well-balanced diet. Your body relies on a regular daily supply of water to function properly. Many of your body’s chemical processes take place in water such as your body's digestion and nutrient absorption, bowel function and to regulate your body temperature.
Keeping properly hydrated also supports your mental state by decreasing anxiety and depression while boosting your mood. Water can to reduce those pesky sugar cravings and help you better balance your weight without dieting.
One way I help my clients keep up with their hydration is through my round up of infused water recipes. Drinking fresh water infused with fruit, veggies or garden herbs is nutrient dense and tasty way to hydrate and cleanse the body. Click here to explore infused recipes.
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Self-Care For The Soul
When was the last time you made your soul sing? No I don't mean acapella, but rather feel elated or radiating positivity? If this is not something you do on a regular basis, now it the time to start. Here's 3 things you can try to breed those warm, soulful feelings.
Tap Into You Inner Goddess
You might laugh at crystal lovers and witch woo folk (or not--hello my boho friend) but there is something magical that happens when you practice Tibetan signing bowls, chakra cleanses, crystal energy healing or meditations. The sound frequencies created by a singing bowl (pictured above) help to restore balance to the body and improve the flow of energy.
Chakras are energy points on the body that can become blocked. Releasing their stagnant energy can work wonders (even if you are not a believer). Crystals have been used in many alternative medicinal and therapeutic ways. Holding crystals or placing them on your body aids physical, emotional and spiritual healing. Crystals naturally vibe with your body's energy field, or chakra, and can improve a sense of well-being, relieve stress and boost creativity.
Allow your inner goddess to tap into the divine healing energy of one the above. Don't judge it. Be open to the experience and allow yourself to relax as you engage with the healing tool of choice. Try it with a stressed out friend, or visit a healer.
The Neglected Women In The Mirror
When you walk past the mirror what do you say to yourself? Is it positive self talk or negative? Do you just see all your flaws and what you wish you could change, or can you recognise wonderful things about that gorgeous soul blinking back at you?
Many women (and men) struggle with their reflection. Without realising it, they add to the judgement and ridicule every time they catch their reflection. And the sad thing is, this is all physical but we are not one dimensional beings. We are far more than our bodies and physical appearance.
Imagine you’re your best friend for a moment. If you were, repeat what you've thought or said about yourself when you last looked in the mirror. Would you ever dare such things about your sweet friend? Most definitely not! In fact, I bet you can list off the top of your head a dozen or more wonderful reasons why she or he is your best friend. And NONE of the them have a darn thing to do with how they look, what their weight is, whether they have scars, stretch marks or cellulite. Am I right?
If you wouldn't treat your best friend this way, let me ask you, why is it ok to treat yourself this way? Well, it isn't. So, start showing yourself some kindness and instead judging your appearance, list off 1-2 wonderful things about yourself. Think of your bestie as you do it; what would they say about you. Start believing them!
Adopt An Attitude of Gratitude
Being grateful for your Life is one of the core essentials for lasting happiness. This is something I learned several years ago and it couldn't be more true. If you have never practised this before, let this be your inspiration.
Starting a gratitude journal is super easy. It can be a simple notebook (paper or digital) where you keep track of the wonderful things in your Life that you are grateful for and appreciate. No matter how challenging and defeating Life can sometimes feel, there will always be something wonderful to feel grateful about. Practicing gratitude is proven to impact our emotions and mental health. Keeping a journal can make you feel happier, improve your well-being, self-esteem, and depression.
Gratitude is the opposite of envy and is highly affective at eliminating feelings of jealously or envy for what other people have; it brings your attention back to what you have and can appreciate. Begin to jot down all the good stuff in your journal at the end of each day. Make this a nightly ritual and see just how fast things start to change for the better!
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Start Loving Yourself Challenge
Ready for the challenge? Begin today to start loving and nurturing yourself. Allow the joy, playfulness and enthusiasm that you naturally had as a child begin to flow into your everyday life experiences. Allow yourself to celebrate each and every success no matter how small. Love and appreciate yourself every opportunity you have (and others will too). Shake off those negative vibes (go on, shake it off Taylor Swift style) and only let positivity vibrate through you. Create this mindset.
Do this everyday and watch your weight begin to dissolve just as your old negative beliefs about yourself begin to dissolve.
Healthy + happiness,
Emma Lisa xx
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Great tips Emma! Needed to read this today.. been a struggle lately. I am realizing self-care is so important. Some days are just too hard. Hoping these help.
Hey Emma I just finished your self-care challenge (loved it!!!) and am just now discovering your blog...loved this article, thank you!!! - Julie-Anne :D
Thank you for this Emma, I found it so helpful. I really need to work on my self care!! xx Leah